


Midnight Black.

by heyitsnxel



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anxiety, Fluff, Hair Dyeing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 15:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17123759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyitsnxel/pseuds/heyitsnxel
Summary: Sometimes even a phone call is too much. Thankfully, Dan is there to help make it better.





	Midnight Black.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lesterlad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesterlad/gifts).



> this was written for @lesterlad on tumblr for the secret santa fic exchange! i had a hard time picking between the prompts you suggested, so these are two smashed together. merry christmas & happy holidays! i hope you enjoy reading this as much as i did writing it :)

It was irrational.

 

Phil knew it. Dan knew it. Kath knew it. The whole world knew it.

 

It started with a single glance in the mirror, one haphazard look that alerted Phil of the reddish roots starting to show at the base of his hairline. He’d frowned at the time, carding his fingers through his hair with a sigh. He’d have to get it dyed again soon. It had been a few weeks since then and it had only spiraled from there. The roots were more prominent now, catching Phil’s gaze in every reflective surface he glanced towards and he’d made the decision that he had to get it dyed soon.

 

That’s where the problem came in. He knew, arguably, that calling the hair dresser and making an appointment was no big deal. He’d seen the number in his phone so many times, talked to the man on the other end of the line more time than he could count. This anxiety brewing deep inside of him didn’t make sense.

 

But that was the thing about anxiety. It didn’t always make sense.

 

Phil was sure that there was a cause of his anxiety deep-rooted somewhere in his mind – it had to be. There was some forgotten childhood memory that sparked this, something he saw in a movie, something he read in a book,  _ something _  that caused this fear. Surely there was. But, he couldn’t put his finger on it. Heck, he couldn’t even put his finger on his phone screen to start dialing the number of the hair salon again.

 

It wasn’t unusual for phone calls to trigger something inside of him that made his skin crawl. It had always been that way. In most cases, Dan would step in. He’d make the call for Phil or trace his thumb reassuringly over the back of his hand as Phil tried to stammer out whatever he needed to say to the person on the other line. But today, Dan was in the kitchen. The faint sound of his feet padding across the floor, slamming the cabinet doors shut that Phil had left open, filtered into the living room. Some obscure music was playing off his phone, but it sounded like nothing more than muffled noise to Phil, like someone had stuffed his ears with cotton.

 

There was a small part of him that didn’t want to tell Dan this was happening. Today was a good day for Dan. His smile was more genuine, his actions more confident. He’d been having such a rough week that Phil would be nothing more than a burden if he were to call him in to the lounge to deal with something as trivial as a phone call.

 

But, they’d also promised to always be honest with each other. They wouldn’t hide anything. Their emotions, their feelings, their thoughts were nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, Phil knew Dan wouldn’t care that Phil needed him. There wouldn’t be any residual annoyance over Phil ‘ruining his day’ or being ‘overdramatic.’

 

(But, what if there was?)

  
  


He could feel the tremor in his fingers as they hovered over the touchscreen, the way his breath caught in his throat the moment he hit the first number, the way his phone fell from his hands and landed on top of the couch cushion on its own accord. This was really happening. He was really on the verge of a panic attack over a phone call. Later, he’d laugh at how silly this all was. But right now, he needed Dan.

 

A jolt of panic rushed through Phil’s veins, causing him to inhale sharply and bury his head into his knees that he’d pulled to his chest. He could vaguely feel himself swaying, rocking back and forth, in an attempt to calm himself down. But, it wasn’t working.

 

His breath hitched as he tried to breathe and he found his mind swirling. Dan was saying something to him from the kitchen, but just like his music, it was nothing more than muffled noise.

 

“Phil, I got the – “ Dan’s words trailed off as he walked into the lounge. It was obvious the exact moment he realized something was wrong. The sound of his socks scuffing across the carpet quickened and Phil barely had time to look up and blink before he was being pulled flush against Dan’s chest. His arms wrapped around him tightly, grounding Phil to the spot.

 

“Hey, can you breathe with me?”

 

Phil shook his head. He  _ couldn’t _  breathe with him. He couldn’t breathe at all. Warily, he cast a glance up to Dan’s face. It fell slightly as Phil stubbornly rejected his help, but no sooner had his lip pulled between his bottom teeth, Dan was trying again. He let his thumb trace across the skin under Phil’s eye, wiping away a few stray tears he hadn’t even realized were falling.

 

“Please?” He blinked, slowly cupping one side of Phil’s face. “For me?”

 

All it took was one look into Dan’s concerned eyes for Phil to agree, for him to force himself to follow along as Dan guided his breathing into a more natural state. The trembling of his body had subsided, only coming in slight waves, and he tipped his head against Dan’s chest. Dan’s fingers were working their way through his hair, gently massaging his scalp before trailing back down to his neck, letting the silence linger – just like Phil did for him – and waited. He waited until Phil was ready to talk.

 

“M’sorry,” Phil finally uttered, his voice breaking almost immediately. “I – Yeah.”

Dan frowned, his fingers stilled in Phil’s hair before they started moving again as he sighed.

“What do you always tell me about apologizing for my emotions?”

“Don’t.”

“Exactly.” Dan hummed. “You have nothing to be sorry for, alright?”

“You don’t know that.” Phil argued. “It’s stupid. I – “

“Your feelings aren’t stupid.”

“But –“

“No buts.” Dan interrupted. “They aren’t stupid.”

 

A defeated sigh left Phil’s lips as he curled further into Dan. He was right. His feelings weren’t stupid. But they sure as heck felt that way. He knew Dan was going to want to know what triggered this, and a flare of embarrassment sparked inside his chest at the thought of telling him.

 

“I was going to call the hair salon.” Phil stammered out, tripping over his words in an attempt to get them out faster. “But, I couldn’t. I just couldn’t! What kind of adult can’t even call his own hair salon? It’s ridiculous, I – “

 

Dan tutted, shaking his head. Phil knew that he was fighting his every instinct to interrupt him again. He knew Dan wanted nothing more than to look Phil dead in the eyes and make him believe it wasn’t ridiculous, or silly, or stupid, or any other word he could come up with. But, he was restraining himself.

“I mean, look at it, Dan.” Phil jolted up, knocking Dan’s fingers out of his hair in favor of his own. “It’s not even black anymore. I have to call the hair person or I’m going to be full ginger again!”

To his surprise, Dan chuckled. He shook his head, his lips curling into a fond smile before he cupped Phil’s cheek just as he’d done before.

“You know I’ve always had a thing for gingers.”

 

Before Phil could utter a single word in protest, Dan had pulled him forward and lightly kissed his forehead. All arguments sizzled out on the tip of Phil’s tongue and he let himself collapse back against Dan’s fuzzy jumper. It didn’t take long for Dan’s fingers to work their way back into his hair.

 

“I can call the hair salon, if you want.” Dan spoke softly, careful to not break the calm atmosphere.

 

Phil shook his head again, burying his face in the fabric of Dan’s shirt.

“I feel too awkward to go now. I already called once and hung up.” He mumbled the last part so quietly it was almost inaudible, but Dan’s chest still shook with silent laughter. Phil knew it wasn’t mean spirited. It was just a laugh of solidarity. Dan had been there so many times before, he knew how Phil felt right now.

 

“Alright, Philly.”

 

The room fell silent aside from the music still playing on Dan’s abandoned phone that sat in the other room, and the traffic outside. He could fall asleep in Dan’s lap right now. The sheer emotional exhaustion combined with the steady rhythm of Dan’s heart and his fingers in his hair were enough to lull Phil into a dazed state that was almost too relaxing. His eyes fell shut, fingers still tightly gripping the hem of Dan’s jumper, before everything faded away into a dream.

* * *

Phil woke up disoriented and alone. The lights in the lounge had been dimmed, a pillow slid under his head, and Dan’s sad pimp blanket draped over top of his body. But, there was no sign of Dan anywhere.

 

Massaging at his temples as he sat up, Phil sighed. The nap had helped. He didn’t feel quite as embarrassed or anxious as he had earlier, now he was just left with a post nap headache that probably wouldn’t go away. He’d take a headache over another anxiety attack any day.

How long had he even been asleep? Phil’s eyes flicked to the drawn shades before he started to fumble around on the couch for his phone. He felt like he had brushed his fingers against every string of thread on the cushions, before giving up with a defeated sigh. It had probably fallen into the abyss of the sofa crease, never to be found again. Now instead of anxious, he felt defeated. The whole afternoon had really taken a toll on him – physically and mentally. He hadn’t gotten anything done that he had wanted to and he probably ruined Dan’s good mood. All he really wanted was to cuddle with Dan and watch Netflix until he fell asleep again.

 

Only, Dan wasn’t in the lounge.

 

Or the kitchen.

 

Or the AmazingPhil room.

 

Or the moon room.

 

Phil dragged himself all over the flat before he heard a bang in the bathroom, followed by a quiet string of curse words falling from Dan’s lips. Another burst of panic hit Phil as he hurried to the door. The logical side of his brain knew Dan had probably just dropped something, but the part of him that was still tingling with leftover anxiety was pointing him to believe something was wrong. He swung open the bathroom door with such fervor that he startled himself and Dan in the process. The armful of shampoo bottles and bodywash Dan was clutching to his chest clattered to the floor as he threw a hand over his heart.

 

“Christ, Phil. I think I just had a heartattack.”

 

Phil opened his mouth to apologize, but the words died before he even had a chance to finish thinking them. Sitting on the middle of the counter was something Phil hadn’t seen in years. A box of hair dye. The model’s face was faded and half of the name was covered with a bright yellow sticker, but Phil would still recognize it anywhere.

 

_ Midnight Black. _

 

The same brand of hair dye Dan had used the first time he dyed Phil’s hair so many years ago. Phil had sent Dan out to buy Ribena and he’d come back with a bag of things they didn’t need and the hair dye. It was expensive. Phil remembered his eyes nearly falling out his head when he saw the price on the receipt. But, the eagerness in Dan’s gaze had melted away any concerns Phil had over the price. They’d left the bathroom counter splattered with black stains and Phil’s neck had a dark grey tint to it for a while, but Phil held that memory close to his heart.

 

And Dan knew it.

 

It was commonplace for Dan to dye his hair every so often now, but it had been so long since he had. Phil felt his heart swell at the simple fact Dan had thought to even do it.

 

“Phil? Are you okay?”

 

Phil blinked, only just realizing he hadn’t said a single word since he came into the bathroom. He nodded.

 

“Did you just buy that?” He croaked out.

 

Dan huffed, a hint of red spreading up his neck and over his cheeks.

“Yeah, while you were asleep. I figured, I could just … do it? If you want me to, that is.”

 

“Yes.” Phil interrupted. “Please.”

 

* * *

Dan’s fingers were magic.

 

He hadn’t even opened the box of dye yet and they were already working their way through Phil’s hair, nails digging gently into his skin leaving a light trail goosebumps behind. Phil’s eyes had unwillingly closed, melting back into Dan’s chest as they sat on the bathroom floor. There was nothing breaking the silence. There was no need for there to be. There was a comfortable familiarity in the sound of their breaths mixing together, the occasional heavy sigh that passed Phil’s lips as Dan tugged a bit more roughly on the strands of his hair. It came with years of practice, but Dan knew exactly where to touch and how to do it to relax Phil.

 

“I’m going to put the dye in now,” Dan murmured softly, pulling his fingers from Phil’s hair and placing light kiss on the top of his head. Phil merely grunted in response. He shuffled to sit up and move to the edge of the bathtub as Dan tore into the cardboard. “Ready when you are, mate.”

 

Phil nodded, tipping his head a little too eagerly in Dan’s direction. Dan chuckled, flicking him once on the forehead.

 

“Patience,” He chided, jokingly.

 

Phil rolled his eyes. “You’re one to talk.”

 

Dan looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he let his lips curve into a smile as he shook his head. Phil watched as he gave the bottle one final shake, poising it over top of Phil’s now unruly hair. The moment the first drops of dye reached his scalp, Phil flinched.

 

“It’s cold!”

“Well, tough luck. That’s the best you’re getting at my salon.”

“I’m going to leave a bad review.”

 

Dan gasped, massaging the dye into Phil’s hair. “You wouldn’t dare.”

 

“Try me.” Phil grinned up at Dan, cringing as a dyed piece of hair flopped against his forehead. Dan moved to push it away, stifling a laugh at the smudge of black on Phil’s skin. He wiped it away with the back of his hand.

 

“You’re so impossible.”

 

“You love me.”

 

“I do,” Dan hummed, running his fingers through the length of Phil’s hair. “I really do.”

* * *

 

There was hair dye all over the counter. Dan cringed as violently scrubbed at the splatters with a scrub brush.

 

“It’s not coming off! Stupid fucking hair dye!”

 

Phil watched, amused, from the edge of the bathtub. Dan had carefully draped an old towel around his neck after making sure every strand of hair was covered by the inky black dye. Phil had let him run a warm rag across his skin, taking his time to wash away every smudge of dye that had mistakenly stained Phil’s skin.

 

Unfortunately, Dan had relished a little bit too much in removing the dye from Phil which left the dye on the counter untouched long enough to become a slight problem.

 

_ Dan’s  _ problem.

 

Phil was content with watching his boyfriend struggle to remove the offending colors from their countertop. His skin was still tingling from Dan’s touch, and possibly from the chemicals in the dye, but Phil wasn’t ready to let go of the feeling. Even with Dan’s sporadic curses over the counter, Phil had never felt more comfortable.

 

“Phiiiiil.” Dan whined, drawing out the ‘i.’ “What are we supposed to do about this?”

 

“Mm,  _ you  _ can go get some dye remover from Tesco later?”

 

Dan deadpanned, finger pointing accusingly in Phil’s direction. The look on his face could be described in one word: Betrayal.

“Why didn’t you say anything about the dye remover until now, you spork?! You literally just watched me slave away over scrubbing the counter!”

 

Phil fought a smile off his face as he shrugged. Dan was still staring at him accusingly, but it didn’t take long for his resolve to fade with a defeated sigh.

 

“We probably should rinse that out now unless you want all your hair to fall out.”

 

Phil chuckled, “I don’t think I could pull off being bald.”

 

* * *

 

The water was warm as it cascaded down through Phil’s hair. He watched as the inky black dripping from his head washed away to nothing, swirling down the drain the longer Dan stood above him with the shower. It was slightly awkward for a man over six feet tall to be crouched over the edge of a bathtub with an equally large man standing over top of his with the shower head, but they had both agreed it was easier than Phil actually getting in the shower (and Dan wanted to be the one to wash it out - “for old time’s sake”).

 

So, Phil happily kneeled next to the bathtub and ignored the dull pain caused by the side pressing into his abdomen. One of Dan’s legs were on either side of his body and if Phil looked up, he was sure he’d see a look of concentration gracing his face as he was careful to get all the dye out of Phil’s hair.

 

“You good?” Dan mumbled, shifting above him. The water briefly left Phil’s skin and he couldn’t help but pout - despite Dan not being able to see it. He nodded, muttering a quiet “yeah” and the water abruptly cut off. Phil stayed leaning over the edge of the tub, watching the water disappear, before he sat up.

 

“Not to compliment myself, but I think it looks pretty damn good.”

 

Phil rolled his eyes, moving to look in the mirror. Even with his hair dripping wet, he could tell Dan was right. It did look good.

 

(Phil never doubted that it would.)

 

“Thank you,” He sighed, turning to pull an unsuspecting Dan into a hug.

 

Dan complied, falling forward into Phil’s arms without hesitation, until -

 

“Agh, Phil! Your hairs getting me all wet!” Dan squirmed, failing to keep the fondness out of his tone. Phil only held on to him tighter.

 

“Sorry,” He grinned into Dan’s shoulder, clearly not sorry at all. He pulled away, brushing a stray curl off Dan’s forehead. “You know I love you, right?”

 

“Mm, nope.” Dan’s eyes twinkled with a mischievous glint. “You’re gonna have to prove it.”

 

Phil sighed, rolling his eyes in faux annoyance as he cupped Dan’s cheek, pulling him closer.

 

“Fine, fine.”

 

Dan’s eyes fluttered shut expectantly, his body following as Phil pulled him forward. Phil’s let his lips hover gently above Dan’s before he abruptly pulled away, shaking his head like a wet dog, and bolting out of the bathroom relishing in Dan shrieking behind him.

 

“Philip Lester! I can not believe you!” Dan gawked from the hallway, wiping the remnants of water off his face. “You are such a child sometimes.”

 

Phil merely stuck his tongue out, “But you loooove me.”

 

“I do,” Dan sighed. “I really do.”

 

* * *

 

Phil's laptop was propped open on the end of the bed, playing an episode of Friends they had both seen no less than a hundred times, the light were dim, and Dan was happily nuzzling into his side. 

 

"How're you feeling?" Dan mumbled in the middle of a yawn. 

 

Phil looked down towards the muss of curls laying on his chest and smiled softly.

 

"Better. A lot better." 

**Author's Note:**

> also - since it won't get away who i am ;) - thank you to my beta @agingphangirl for being so amazing and helping so last minute!


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